Mission Reports Part 2
by steffaree
Summary: Sam finds a piece of paper on the locker room bulletin board. What happens next nobody expects not even Jack.


The day started out great for Sam, but when she walked into the locker room to change for that mornings briefing it all changed. That is when she saw a piece of paper tacked up on the bulletin board in the locker room. It was just a half sheet of paper with some words printed on it, but the words were what got Sam irritated. This is what she read.

An example of a typical O'Neill mission report: we came through the gate, Daniel saw rocks I said no. Daniel said Hi to the village leader, the natives turned nasty, we ran home through the gate.

An example of a Typical Teal'c mission report: Indeed.

An example of a typical Jackson mission report: We came through the gate, there were cool writings but Jack said NO. we meet with the Village leader and Jack said no. I said Hi, Jack said RUN!!!

An example of a typical Carter mission report: We exited the event horizon of the stable inter galactic _yada yada yada._..._(insert more science terms here)_. Daniel tried to investigate some native ruins the Colonel refused to delay the mission. Upon meeting with the local inhabitants of the planet a miscommunication occurred with Daniel and the village leader which resulted in the commencement of hostilities against our team _yada yada yada_ _(insert 5 more pages of explanation here)_ Upon arrival at the Stargate Daniel proceeded to dial the DHD for the return trip to SGC upon establishment of a stable wormhole I entered my IDC and proceeded to enter the event horizon _yada yada yada_ _(insert more {yes more} science terms here) ._

Sam was gonna string who ever wrote this up from the top of the missile silo and dangle him or her in front of a activating wormhole. Sam snatched the paper off the bulletin board and finished changing for the briefing. When she left the locker room she ran into Daniel. "hey Sam how are you?" Daniel asked. instead of answering she just handed Daniel the paper. Daniel busted up laughing till he saw the look in Sam's eyes. "I don't know who wrote it but you have to admit it is funny."

"I don't have to admit to anything. Its demeaning."

"To me maybe but not to you." Daniel said. that seem to take the wind out of Sam's sails for the time being. "I know Jack will get a kick out of it if he sees it. Maybe we should send it to him in Washington.

"Send me what???"

Daniel handed the paper to Jack. Sam watched Jack as he read, he still had a tendency to move his lips as he read. It didn't take Jack long to finish, but when did he just busted up laughing till he saw the look in Carters eyes.

"Sam what is so wrong with this, its just some ones attempt at humor. And quite good at that."

"It makes me sound like McKay."

with that said Daniel and jack kinda had to agree with that. They both remember how annoying that man was.

"When I find out who wrote this and posted it up in the locker room he or she will regret it." Sam said and left for the briefing room.

"Daniel remind me not to piss Carter off." Jack said as he followed her towards the briefing room.

As usual Teal'c was the first one in the briefing room when Sam got there. He could tell that something was bothering the Colonel. But from the anger emanating from her he didn't dare ask her why. Sam saw Teal'c looking at her and handed him the offensive paper. He read it and handed it back to Sam and just raised his eyebrow.

"Knock off that eyebrow thing you do it ain't funny any more Mr. Spock."

Daniel and Jack enter just in time to hear the Spock comment that is when Jack leaned over to Daniel and asked.

"is it her time of the month or is just being a bitch today?"

Daniel tried very hard to keep from laughing at the comment and the look of fear on Jacks face. It helped that Cam and General Landry entered the Briefing room at that time. Daniel had a smile on his when he took his seat at the table. But a look from Sam and it disappeared into thin air. Cam could tell that there was something bugging Sam He was about to ask when Vala sauntered into the room and took a seat right next to Daniel Vala had no problem asking what was bugging Carter.

"So what has got your panties in a twist today Sam?" Vala asked.

Daniel thought to himself that he really had to stop teaching Vala earth sayings.

Sam just glared at Vala for a moment before speaking. Sam stood with the offending piece of paper in her hand.

"I found this on the bulletin board in the locker room. I want to know who is responsible for this offensive thing."

Cam decided to take a bullet for the team since he had written it but only Dr. Lee and the General had seen it.

"I wrote after reviewing SG-1 mission reports. But I didn't post in the locker room."

"And why did you feel it necessary to offend me in this way I thought we were friends."

"I didn't mean to offend you Sam. Both Dr. Lee and the General got a good laugh out of it. But I didn't post it for the whole base to see."

That cooled Sam down a little bit because she could tell Cam was sincere.

That is when General Landry spoke up.

"How do you find it offending Colonel?" Landry asked.

"It makes me sound like Dr. McKay."

"I have two questions. One who is McKay and two why do you hate him so much." General Landry asked.

Everybody around table look to each other trying to figure out how to explain McKay.

"He is an insufferable egomaniac that almost killed Teal'c 5 years ago." Sam said.

"Well then that seems to explain why you don't like him. If I had know that I wouldn't have had Walter post that paper. I thought with all that is going on right now we all could use a laugh."

Jack just sat back and waited for the fireworks to begin. But they never happened much to his disappointment.

"Sam like I told you earlier it is quite funny. But if you don't like it that much I'll help Walter take them all down." Daniel said.

"so does this mean we don't have to goto PX-MONA today?" Vala asked.

"i think you mean PX-963" Teal'c corrected.

"no I meant what I said."

"I know I'm going to regret but why did you say PX-MONA?" Jack asked.

"It mean middle of nowhere again. There is no market there or anything valuable."

"That is because we are on an Intel mission not a shopping trip." Daniel said.

"Now if the earlier problem is solved lets get onto the briefing that is scheduled for today." Landry commented looking at Sam.

"It is finished for now." she said glaring at Cam

Cam hoped that after this mission Sam might forgive him, but he doubted it. He really shouldn't have written that stupid thing. He will never do that again or at least show it to anybody.

The End

(again)

(I really mean it this time!!)


End file.
